There is a bully in all of us. It takes a great deal of discipline, good nature and godliness to minimise bullying tendencies particularly when we are in position of power, be it social, political or economic.
The heart-rending news of the passage of Sylvester, a boarder in a secondary school in Lagos, whose promising life was aborted in the most unfortunate manner, should serve as a wake up call to all of us not to ignore bullying, even when in disguise. I imagine the pains that Sylvester’s family is nursing at this difficult time. My heartfelt condolences to the bereaved family.
The truth that is coming to the fore is that many parents contribute to the bullying of their wards when they fail to listen to them even when they have things to say. In a bid to meet the dictates of the society, many times we undermine the unique nature of our children and force a new nature on them. We ride roughshod on their personality until they tune off and stop talking to us or anyone.
If you have an extrovert as a child and you align your thought with those of his/her teachers who insist that s/he must obey before complain, you are creating a problem of dual identity for your child. S/he will stop talking and start brooding. Not allowing your child to express him or herself is the greatest danger in modern day parenting.
Have we ever thought of corporate bullying? Many adults in the corporate world are victims of bullying in the workplace. If the staff you supervise cannot express dissenting opinion because you are the boss, you are a bully in disguise. Even in the boardroom, the board member who attempts to force his opinion on others at all times qualifies for an executive bully.
Cyber bullies abound on social media. They have no respect for the opinion of others. Rather, they want to force their opinion down the throat of others and they become aggressive when others choose not to buy into their own beliefs. You simply cannot vilify others who don’t agree with you. If this is your nature, you are a bully online.
There are religious bullies across board, they are not limited to one faith. They see others who don’t share their faith as infidels. Many times what they profess is not who they are but they carry the toga of religiosity that is at variance with their spirituality. These are dangers to a modern society, they are the bullies we don’t need.
Government at different levels bully the people they govern when they prevent them from protesting the activities of government that are not in sync with their expectations. The Nigerian government bullied Nigerian youths in October 2020 when they devised different means to abort a protest that was considered peaceful and purposeful.
Can we stop bullying completely? Maybe not but we can minimise the danger it poses if we continue to make it a topical issue to embolden any potential victim of bullying to speak out until s/he gets noticed. If this is what we do in memory of Sylvester, he would not have died in vain. May God repose his gentle soul and comfort his family.
There is a bully in all of us. It takes discipline and level-headedness to live and let live.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
06 December 2021
