If you tell any man (or woman) that he is not responsible, it is very unlikely that he will smile. If he does, it might be to enable him gather his thoughts to know how best to react in equal measure. If he finds his words, it is also unlikely it will be pleasant to the ears.
I spent some time thinking about it. If put in context, to say that I am not responsible may not be an abuse after all. It may just be a statement of fact. To be responsible goes beyond decency, good character and moral uprightness.
Responsibility has different layers. Beyond being responsible as an adolescent, an adult starts becoming responsible when he starts to think beyond himself, when he starts to take responsibilities for others. If your thinking is limited to how your decision affects you alone, you may be responsible but not responsible.
Starting from the family setting, a responsible gentleman who is still a dependant may wake up in the morning and take a decision and start pursuing it. He may not owe anybody any explanation probably because there may not be anyone who will primarily bear the consequence of his actions, except him. I call it responsibility without responsibility.
The scenario above will not be the same for a parent. A responsible parent will not wake up and suddenly take a decision without thinking of the effect on his family. Even for unplanned parenthood, the first question usually posed to a woman with unplanned pregnancy is who is responsible for the unborn baby. It has a reason. The focus is who will take responsibility for the child’s upbringing.
As a global citizen who has a responsibility to humanity, you start being responsible when you begin to consider the effect of your actions on others. You may be harmless in your dealings. You may be someone who pays attention to details but if your priority all the time is about how it affects you but not how it affects others, you may be responsible but not responsible.
There is a higher level of responsibility and that is leadership. Responsible leadership goes beyond being cool headed and outspoken. It transcends having a decent dress sense and hygiene. Responsible leadership is not all about oratory prowess or intelligent analysis. It is much more than personal effectiveness. Leadership itself is responsibility.
A leader of this age needs more than competence or intellectual capacity. He considers far reaching effects of his actions (or inactions), not only on himself and his family but on the larger society. The future leader will go beyond sacrifice for self to sacrifice of self. One is for self, the other is for self and others. That is legacy.
Let me ask you. Are you accountable only to yourself? Does your action or inaction affect anyone besides you? Positively or negatively? If you are not available, will anyone notice? If your presence is not felt, is your absence felt? If the answers to these questions are not in the affirmative, you are probably responsible but not responsible. This is not an abuse, it is mere expression of my thoughts.
Please, ask the leader next door. The sacrifice he says he makes, is it for self or of self? If it is of self, humanity needs more of him but if it is for self alone, he is not a responsible leader. This is not an abuse. It is just the simplest way I can describe it.
Happy 62nd independence anniversary, Nigeria.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
03 October 2022
