I used to have a boss. If you pronounce her name wrongly, she finds it highly offensive but she could still pardon you, particularly if you are not from her tribe or country but if you misspell her name, she would not even read your document at all.

Truly and truly, if you want to get my attention, I won’t be asking for too much to request that you write my name correctly or at least pronounce my name in a dignifying manner without making me feel less of myself.

Everyone has a soft spot. Knowing that soft spot and touching it with the right chord is what is called relationship management. You should also be careful while trying to impress so you don’t achieve the opposite of what you set out to achieve.

What is in a name? A name is an identity but a man’s identity is more than his name. His identity includes his culture, his faith, his beliefs, his likes, his dislikes, his preference and the things he cares less about.

If you don’t know a man’s identity, you may think you know his name but that is not enough. You cannot claim to know someone when you don’t know what he believes. If you don’t know what he believes, then you take a big risk when you try to impress him.

I once had an unpleasant experience trying to impress a Chinese friend who had also been nice to me. My gift was well packaged but I failed to do culture check that would have cost me the relationship.

My gift was a wrist watch that I thought would wow my friend. In Chinese culture, wrist watch or clock are seen as rude gifts. To them, it connotes that time is running out. They find it offensive. I did not know.

My friend quietly called me to come and retrieve my gift but he advised me to do my check next time before I gift any Chinese a wrist watch or a clock because he could just end the relationship with me without any explanation.

A man’s name, to him, is the most important word in the dictionary. Call that name with dignity and you would have paid him a subtle courtesy and compliment. Go a step further to know his identity, beyond his name.

Little things make big difference in relationship management. To communicate with me, you need to know my identity. Before you can influence me, you have to be able to communicate with me. Can anyone lead who cannot influence? Name is powerful.

©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
22 January 2024