It is not a bad thing for a person to be sad but it is a bad thing to be a sad person. The two are not the same. One is a momentary feeling, the other is an attribute. One describes an event but the other describes a person.

Not all of us have a smiley face but when you see someone who is perpetually sad for reasons you cannot tie to a particular event and you still cannot find an explanation to indicate that it is just a matter of time, beware.

I used to have a driver who was always angry. He worked with me for about three months, I did not see him smile at once. I employed different tactics to know why he always appeared sad and he would say he was fine but he was always moody. Nothing excites him.

Hard as I tried, I was never at peace with him. I searched for reasons to disengage him but couldn’t readily find one. He was punctual, he drove well and I can say he was diligent but I was uncomfortable.

Each time I got close to letting go of his service, I would start thinking of him and his dependants. It was a big relief for me when he disengaged himself for reasons best known to him.

With the benefit of hindsight, I found out that I was unfair to myself. My inner peace should have overridden any guilt feeling of not wanting to sack him because of himself and his dependants.

Self-love is not selfishness. Loving yourself before others is not inhuman. It has biblical backing – “You shall love your neighbour as yourself”. Mark 12: 31. You have to love yourself before you can love your neighbour.

There are many reasons a person can be sad but when it becomes an attribute, keeping company of such a person is unsafe, particularly if you cannot get him to make you understand how you can be of help.

The best you can do for a sad person is to try and influence him to make him see the positive side of life but if you are not able to influence him, it is a matter of time before he wins you to his side. A sad person can kill your joy. Beware.

©️Akin Oluwadare
11 March 2024