If you tell me not to worry when I tend to, I will understand. It is a wise counsel because worry does not solve any problem but it is not easy not to worry when there is cause to worry. If you are not the one wearing the shoe, don’t say you know where it pinches.

Unfriendly as it sounds, no mortal can do without any problem. It is not a bad wish but the reality of life. I have a lighter way of describing problem to lessen the weight. I like to call it challenge to make it look easily surmountable.

If you have to face your challenge when it comes, I will also suggest that you should not worry but if what you seek is solution to your problem, I recommend that you choose concern over worry for reasons I will explain.

The point is this – worry focuses on the problem while concern focuses on the solution. Worry magnifies the problem and reminds you how big it is, whereas concern consciously deploys your energy towards finding a solution to the problem.

Whatever gets your attention attracts your energy. If an object is not clear to you and you keep staring at it, chances are that it gets clearer and possibly magnified as you keep staring, but not without demanding your energy.

The point must be made clear though – not worrying about your problem does not solve the problem. It will only give you temporary relief. What are you doing to solve the problem? This is where I like to replace worry with concern.

The next time you tell your friend not to worry about his problem, please do well to ask him further what he is going to do about it. Therein lies the possible solution even if he doesn’t have the answer in the immediate.

Don’t also forget that a problem shared is still your problem until you solve it or seek help to solve it. Never wish your problem away by a mere “do not worry” phrase. It is not an actionable counsel.

If what you seek is solution to your problem and if you have to choose between worry and concern, choose concern. It is an antidote for worry.