If men were God, the speedy effect of apology would have been magical but because man is not God, it is not easy for him to forgive as quickly as God does. God is quick to forgive the biggest sin but not same with man. Sometimes, apology travels slowly.

One of the most insensitive things I’ve seen people do is to berate someone who has been offended for not forgiving quickly. Sometimes, we say the person should forgive and forget. After all, apology has been tendered. How easy is it to forget? I often wonder.

Depending on the magnitude of hurt, some wounds take time to heal, even when apology has been tendered. To be conscious of this is to be slow to say or do things that inflict wounds on others when it is within our control.

There is tendency to use the words apology and forgiveness interchangeably. They are closely related but one does not necessarily depend on the other. One is for the offender, the other is for the offended.

The offended may choose to forgive the offender even without the latter tendering any apology. Likewise, the offender may tender an apology while the offended may still remain unforgiving.

An unforgiving heart is a burdened heart. A burdened heart is not free. The freest human beings are those who do things their way.

Forgiveness is medicine to the soul and that is what we should all do but there are times when a hurting heart needs time to heal for the forgiveness to be true.

Essential as it is in relationship management, apology does not necessarily restore a relationship to its original state. Betrayal of trust is the commonest in this category.

If the scar won’t be like the skin, please avoid straining your relationships for avoidable reasons. It takes time to regain a trust betrayed, even with the most sincere apology.

©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr.
26 June 2023