If I say you are selfish, you are likely to react to my harsh words but if I say an average human being is selfish, you are more likely to give me an ear to know what I want to say next. Sometimes, you see yourself doing what you accuse the other person of either doing or not doing right and you turn round justifying it because it is you and not the other person. I recall 2012 when former President Goodluck Jonathan attempted to remove fuel subsidy. The opposition plus the civil society was unanimous in grinding the economy to a halt until he capitulated and we returned to status quo.

Today marks another landmark in the annals of Nigeria’s history as we transit from a democratically elected government to another democratically elected government. In the wake of the endSARS protest in 2020, I wrote an article where I spoke about the real revolution. I charged Nigerian youths to take their protest from the street to the polling booth. The article is here attached for reference. I titled it the pains, the gains and the nation:

I respect medical doctors a lot. My late mother actually wanted me to be one but I chose to follow my dreams. If life is all about fulfilling purpose, I am sure my mother would be proud that I chose my will over her wish. Today is not actually about me, neither is it a career talk. My messages are better passed when I tell true life stories, particularly when I’m a principal witness. This one is personal to me but I’m happy to share. Many years ago, I used to have sore throat too often. Sometimes I would have it twice in a month. I was told I have tonsillitis. I became a regular visitor to the hospital until a general practitioner referred me to an ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) Surgeon.

I respect medical doctors a lot. My late mother actually wanted me to be one but I chose to follow my dreams. If life is all about fulfilling purpose, I am sure my mother would be proud that I chose my will over her wish. Today is not actually about me, neither is it a career talk. My messages are better passed when I tell true life stories, particularly when I’m a principal witness. This one is personal to me but I’m happy to share. Many years ago, I used to have sore throat too often. Sometimes I would have it twice in a month. I was told I have tonsillitis. I became a regular visitor to the hospital until a general practitioner referred me to an ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) Surgeon.

The best time to be humble is when you are famous. It sounds easy but it is not as easy as it sounds. Difficult as it is, humility should be your second nature, particularly when your name travels faster than the bearer of the name. Few years back, I had an experience with a gospel artist, a celebrity, that keeps ringing in my head anytime humility is the subject. That experience reminded me that if one fails to manage fame, he could be living on exaggerated identity. This young and talented gospel artist was invited as a guest minister for a programme in my church. I happened to be the protocol officer detailed on him on that occasion, a volunteer job in the church. Being my principal, I was responsible for assisting him and seeing to his needs for as long as the programme lasted until he departs the church premises.

If you are used to saying yes all the time, it is not easy to say no but no is an answer. No may not be an affirmative word but it does not connote outright negativity too. This is not forgetting that some negatives actually translate to positive. Example is HIV negative. There are more, if you do a quick scan. Given a second opportunity, some things you hitherto said yes to will attract a no answer from you. Likewise, the no you said before could turn to a yes if you had more time to think through it before you gave your verdict.

I imagine a world without competition, life will be so dull, isn’t it? Of a truth, life without competition will not only be uneventful, it will be uninspiring. Competition breeds invention, particularly when it is healthy. More often we talk about the gains of team work. If we agree that competition ignites innovation, is there a place then for competition in the spirit and letter of teaming? It sounds like a contradiction, isn’t it? Competition is not bad but a lot has to do with the motive of the competitor to determine the end goal. For competition that is well intended, there is usually an unspoken component that tends towards collaboration. Ubuntu is a Zulu language. It simply translates to “I am because you are”. It means humanity towards others. Ubuntu means togetherness. If you like, you can call it collaboration over competition.

Empowerment is a commonly used word that I believe should provoke a discourse to avoid misuse. For an undiscerning mind, I fear that enslavement could be mistaken for empowerment. If you are successful, it is most likely that you want your children to take after you. It is also likely that you would prefer your children don’t make the mistakes you made on your path to success. If we all agree that the road to success is laden with missteps and mistakes, expecting your child to do things the way you did it is like saying s/he should also make the mistakes you made.

If you know how to ask questions, you are most likely to know how best to answer questions. Knowing how to answer questions is as important as knowledge itself. Communication is two way and listening has been proven to be an integral part of communication. Great leaders are listeners. They not only ask questions, they listen. What is communication if not to pass your message to sell yourself, your idea or your product to the would-be buyer? Be that as it may, some things are better not said except you are asked.

I have read a lot about purpose. I have heard about influence. I have not only been led, I have had the privilege to lead. I have taught and I have written on leadership and leadership development. Studies revealed to me that leadership and influence are strongly connected. Leadership involves influencing others to a particular way of reasoning or doing things to achieve a desired objective. One common denominator to leadership and influence is purpose. It applies to every individual or a group of two or more. What is your reason? What do you set out to achieve? That is your purpose. One of the ways to know if you are achieving your purpose is to weigh the impact you are making on others. After all no man is an island unto himself.