The year 2022 winds down in a bit. Coming this far may be taken for granted but not all who wished, came this far. For you and I who are still able to read and write, there is a lot to be thankful for. To the Author of life and Creator of the Universe, Who did not only give life but gave it in abundance, Lord, I have come to say thank you. It is that time of the year to appreciate those who made life count. You are one of them and I have come to say thank you. There will not be a writer without readers. To you who read my posts and encourage me with public acknowledgement, I have come to say thank you.

This week ushers us fully into Yuletide. I took a moment to ponder and I am imagining, what if everyday is Christmas? No one needs to announce Christmas. The feeling is not the same as any other season all through the year. What if the feeling lasts all year long? What if the love that accompanies Christmas is shared all days round the year? What if the less privileged feel valued and remembered every single day of the year? What if we make giving a daily affair as we share our excess possessions with the needy, some of whom we are too busy to notice at the peak of our hustles?

Many things announce Yuletide, a season of joy. Europe or America, Middle East or Asia, there is a peculiar feeling that announces the season. In Africa where I belong, there is no other feeling like Christmas. When the weather is hazy, then you know Christmas is coming. The songs that rent the air are not the usuals for all seasons. When activities peak and showing of love becomes the norm, then you know that Christmas is near. Old and young, the feeling is just the same. Christmas is not race sensitive, I hope you know. Religion accords Christmas its dues, irrespective of faith. Social or economic class defer to Christmas. Why can’t every day even be like Christmas?

You may think it is one of those things but I can tell you that an average human being feels more accepted wherever he can communicate effectively. Communication is two way, it involves not only hearing, but being heard. I used to attend a particular church when I arrived Lagos, Nigeria after my service year. The church had a considerable balance of the major ethnic nationalities, at least in the southern part of the country. I really can’t tell if it was by coincidence but it happened that the choir was predominantly populated by a particular ethnic nationality, even though the presiding pastor is of another ethnic nationality.

Civilisation comes with lots of advantages. Modernisation offers more ingenious ways to aid human interaction. Technology provides tools for ease of doing business but there has not been an alternative to the human factor. It is unlikely there will ever be. Social security should be taught and learnt as early as when a child begins to learn ABC. In advanced climes, an individual is given a social security number that captures all information about him to the tiniest detail. This underscores the importance of social security. In recent times, a cursory look at reported cases of suicide clearly reveals that economic problem is not the biggest problem humans are dealing with. This should redirect our thought on the need to revisit our social interactions.

Imagine a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer. If it’s within her ability, she would wish that this is not disclosed to her, but it is a conversation she must have. Or imagine a man who just lost his job. He would wish the news is about something pleasantly different but the job loss is the reality that must be talked about. It is natural for us as humans to wish for news that are positive. Our mind is wired to seek for positivity around the things we desire. Many times we do this even at our own expense when we avoid news that do not support our aspiration, just because we don’t like to have the difficult conversation.

This is true life story. It should be about five years ago. I remember it was somewhere around Iju Ishaga in Lagos. I was alone in the car, enjoying the sweet melodies from Commander Ebenezer Obey’s collections. Imagine one of those weekend jigs when all you want to do is unwind. I just pulled out of a temporary parking on the roadside and about to do a U turn at a small opening on a dualised road. I had checked my side mirror and everything looked safe. The other side of the road was free and my mind was already at my destination. All these happened in a flash. My foot was on the accelerator, ready to move. The collision would have been heavy. It might even have been fatal because the car coming behind me was on top speed. A second look beyond my shoulder saved me what could have been a calamity. I escaped what would have been a terrible accident that never was. Looking back, all I can say is to God be the glory.

She is my friend of many years, we shared a dream. We were lovers with mutual feelings to say it the way it is. Fate separated us but without any ill feeling. The distance is wide but the days are long gone, when you could hide behind your shadow and still feel secure. Internet knows about you probably more than you know yourself. If I had known she was watching me, perhaps I would have been more deliberate. I thought it was left to me when I write and when I don’t. Nothing suggested to me I owe more than mere explanation for a break I granted myself without approval. My phone rang and it was my old friend in soft tone. She wanted to know for how long this away without leave would last. I wondered aloud which leave she was talking about. She reminded me of something I called pen holiday a while ago.

If you tell any man (or woman) that he is not responsible, it is very unlikely that he will smile. If he does, it might be to enable him gather his thoughts to know how best to react in equal measure. If he finds his words, it is also unlikely it will be pleasant to the ears. I spent some time thinking about it. If put in context, to say that I am not responsible may not be an abuse after all. It may just be a statement of fact. To be responsible goes beyond decency, good character and moral uprightness. Responsibility has different layers. Beyond being responsible as an adolescent, an adult starts becoming responsible when he starts to think beyond himself, when he starts to take responsibilities for others. If your thinking is limited to how your decision affects you alone, you may be responsible but not responsible.

An average man sees fault in others faster than he sees in himself. It is not necessarily out of bad behaviour. You will see a stain on your neighbour’s nose faster than you see a stain on your own nose, not minding that your nose is the closest to your eyes. Nature made it so. People are going through stuff. The economy is not smiling. To maintain social status has become more expensive. People break promises not for lack of character but for lack of capacity. You may think you are affected more than others but dare not compare your story with others. You will be humbled. Many are bleeding but are still leading. Think twice before you condemn anyone for not meeting your expectations. The one you blame for not helping out is probably looking up to someone who is looking up to another someone who is unable to help because of dashed expectations.