If men were God, the speedy effect of apology would have been magical but because man is not God, it is not easy for him to forgive as quickly as God does. God is quick to forgive the biggest sin but not same with man. Sometimes, apology travels slowly. One of the most insensitive things I’ve seen people do is to berate someone who has been offended for not forgiving quickly. Sometimes, we say the person should forgive and forget. After all, apology has been tendered. How easy is it to forget? I often wonder. Depending on the magnitude of hurt, some wounds take time to heal, even when apology has been tendered. To be conscious of this is to be slow to say or do things that inflict wounds on others when it is within our control.

Fathers are meant to love, yet they are meant to be strong but according to Izogie, “love makes you weak”. In other words, to love and be strong is tough. It sounds more like a paradox but before you hasten to critique the contradiction, let me tell you who Izogie is. This is so that your judgement may be balanced. The Woman King is an African movie, rich in culture, perfectly scripted, excellently delivered. It is the story of the liberation of Dahomey people from the Oyo Empire by the women warriors, the Agojies. Jimmy Odukoya played one of the lead roles as Oba Ade, leading the Oyo Empire warriors. I must say his delivery was top notch. Nanisca was a woman warrior, a war general. She was assisted by Igozie to command the palace guards. You are probably wondering the correlation between The Woman King and fatherhood. Just a moment.

To students of history, June 12 represents many things in the annals of Nigeria’s history. Call it the good, the bad and the ugly, but reminiscing this journey, one can now say, and safely too, that with June 12, 1993, Nigeria failed forward. Oftentimes, it sounds right to forget the past and move forward, particularly when it is bad or ugly, but that relates more to the ideal. In reality, it is difficult to move forward without a good sense of history.

If I say you are selfish, you are likely to react to my harsh words but if I say an average human being is selfish, you are more likely to give me an ear to know what I want to say next. Sometimes, you see yourself doing what you accuse the other person of either doing or not doing right and you turn round justifying it because it is you and not the other person. I recall 2012 when former President Goodluck Jonathan attempted to remove fuel subsidy. The opposition plus the civil society was unanimous in grinding the economy to a halt until he capitulated and we returned to status quo.

Today marks another landmark in the annals of Nigeria’s history as we transit from a democratically elected government to another democratically elected government. In the wake of the endSARS protest in 2020, I wrote an article where I spoke about the real revolution. I charged Nigerian youths to take their protest from the street to the polling booth. The article is here attached for reference. I titled it the pains, the gains and the nation:

I respect medical doctors a lot. My late mother actually wanted me to be one but I chose to follow my dreams. If life is all about fulfilling purpose, I am sure my mother would be proud that I chose my will over her wish. Today is not actually about me, neither is it a career talk. My messages are better passed when I tell true life stories, particularly when I’m a principal witness. This one is personal to me but I’m happy to share. Many years ago, I used to have sore throat too often. Sometimes I would have it twice in a month. I was told I have tonsillitis. I became a regular visitor to the hospital until a general practitioner referred me to an ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) Surgeon.

I respect medical doctors a lot. My late mother actually wanted me to be one but I chose to follow my dreams. If life is all about fulfilling purpose, I am sure my mother would be proud that I chose my will over her wish. Today is not actually about me, neither is it a career talk. My messages are better passed when I tell true life stories, particularly when I’m a principal witness. This one is personal to me but I’m happy to share. Many years ago, I used to have sore throat too often. Sometimes I would have it twice in a month. I was told I have tonsillitis. I became a regular visitor to the hospital until a general practitioner referred me to an ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) Surgeon.

The best time to be humble is when you are famous. It sounds easy but it is not as easy as it sounds. Difficult as it is, humility should be your second nature, particularly when your name travels faster than the bearer of the name. Few years back, I had an experience with a gospel artist, a celebrity, that keeps ringing in my head anytime humility is the subject. That experience reminded me that if one fails to manage fame, he could be living on exaggerated identity. This young and talented gospel artist was invited as a guest minister for a programme in my church. I happened to be the protocol officer detailed on him on that occasion, a volunteer job in the church. Being my principal, I was responsible for assisting him and seeing to his needs for as long as the programme lasted until he departs the church premises.

If you are used to saying yes all the time, it is not easy to say no but no is an answer. No may not be an affirmative word but it does not connote outright negativity too. This is not forgetting that some negatives actually translate to positive. Example is HIV negative. There are more, if you do a quick scan. Given a second opportunity, some things you hitherto said yes to will attract a no answer from you. Likewise, the no you said before could turn to a yes if you had more time to think through it before you gave your verdict.

I imagine a world without competition, life will be so dull, isn’t it? Of a truth, life without competition will not only be uneventful, it will be uninspiring. Competition breeds invention, particularly when it is healthy. More often we talk about the gains of team work. If we agree that competition ignites innovation, is there a place then for competition in the spirit and letter of teaming? It sounds like a contradiction, isn’t it? Competition is not bad but a lot has to do with the motive of the competitor to determine the end goal. For competition that is well intended, there is usually an unspoken component that tends towards collaboration. Ubuntu is a Zulu language. It simply translates to “I am because you are”. It means humanity towards others. Ubuntu means togetherness. If you like, you can call it collaboration over competition.