Imagine a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer. If it’s within her ability, she would wish that this is not disclosed to her, but it is a conversation she must have. Or imagine a man who just lost his job. He would wish the news is about something pleasantly different but the job loss is the reality that must be talked about.
It is natural for us as humans to wish for news that are positive. Our mind is wired to seek for positivity around the things we desire. Many times we do this even at our own expense when we avoid news that do not support our aspiration, just because we don’t like to have the difficult conversation.
The examples I gave are extreme situations, discussion of which can no longer be avoided. This may be due to deliberate avoidance of the subject before it became an emergency. Some difficult conversations are better if you have them at the right time when you still have alternatives, to save you from difficult outcomes. Relocating abroad is one of them, popularly referred to as ‘japa’.
The world is so connected, opportunities abound everywhere. If anyone tells you there is nothing abroad, please tell him there is no truth in it. There is something abroad, just like there is something at home. The question you should answer is the purpose for your voyage. Many fail the test because their purpose was not well defined.
To the upwardly mobile young adult, what exactly do you want to achieve by traveling abroad? Is it for career advancement or career switch. Are you going to further your studies and acquire more knowledge? Is it to expand the horizon for your children and give them global access? There are many more genuine reasons for migration but you must be goal specific before you take the flight.
An underlying reason that explains the exodus of young Nigerians who have emigrated and are still emigrating is the search for economic prosperity and better life. Rational as this is, I consider it too broad a reason if it is not tied to a specific goal that is measurable as highlighted in the preceding paragraph.
A demographic analysis of emigrants in recent times would reveal that majority of them are gainfully employed, back home in Nigeria. The message here is that if your only reason for traveling abroad is to make money, people are making money in Nigeria, and legitimately too. To think it is easier to make money abroad is a difficult conversation hardly talked about but answer to which you should seek and find, just before you join the train.
Why is it important to clearly define your purpose if you want to relocate abroad? It is such that you can easily measure your progress at every point of the journey to be sure you are on track. Your success rate may not be immediately visible to others but your progress will be self-motivating because you know what you want.
It is so uninspiring for you to want to travel abroad because all your friends have gone. You cannot be too immersed in that wild goose chase and ignore any information that may not be pleasant, if you don’t want to learn the hard way. If you have children of school age, there is a lot you need to know, beyond what you like to know.
Don’t let anyone deceive you to say there is nothing abroad. Opportunities abound everywhere in and out of Nigeria for those who prepare. What will mark you out is the purpose for every decision you take. Many have jumped on the train and are licking their fingers because their expectations are one sided.
The other day, I wrote about the blind spot. Look beyond your shoulders for danger signals. Double check the blind spot. The devil is in the details. The difficult conversation you avoid may make your life difficult. Which is better? A difficult conversation or a difficult life? Choose wisely.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
14 November 2022
