I once asked myself why two people in love would suddenly fall out of mutual feelings for each other, sometimes to the point of irritation.

I still wonder why two people who could hardly do things without each other would suddenly find pleasure anywhere else but the company of the once beloved partner.

Many times, things degenerate to the point of resentment that separation becomes an option. Sometimes, things become irreparable that either party begins to contemplate outright divorce.

I think beauty is relative, just like success. At different stages in life, what counts as beauty for one may not make meaning to the other. Marriage is a good example.

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand why a woman whose beauty is admired by everyone else outside ceases to thrill her husband, suddenly.

The story of the ‘Superman’ to others outside is better told by his wife, who experiences him first hand, even at his vulnerable moment. Sometimes, the story is not the same as what outsiders see.

I still keep wondering but it occurred to me that outward beauty is what others see. Only one person sees and keep seeing the inner beauty.

Outward beauty may just be enough to start any relationship but it takes a perfect combination of both inner and outward beauty to sustain the relationship. Issues arise when there is a wide variation between the two.

This is about marriage but it applies to every other aspect of human life. Life is about relationship building because no one has all it takes to wade through life on his own and make success of it.

Outward appearance is not negotiable. Many lose great opportunities when their outward appearance betrays their inner beauty but a relationship that will last should look beyond fancies.

A hiring consultant may be discouraged to hear from a potential recruit that is not well dressed, just like he may get carried away by another who has the best diction. It takes skill not to judge too quickly on either of the two.

The same applies to choosing leaders. Oratory prowess is not enough to choose a good leader. Some are not eloquent but they carry substance but the one to lead must be able to articulate his vision in whatever language.

Beauty has different shades. For a relationship that will be enduring, what matters at the initiation stage may not count for much at the advanced stages. If you aim to build a relationship to last, think beyond what is visible.

©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
30 January 2023