You may think it is one of those things but I can tell you that an average human being feels more accepted wherever he can communicate effectively. Communication is two way, it involves not only hearing, but being heard.
I used to attend a particular church when I arrived Lagos, Nigeria after my service year. The church had a considerable balance of the major ethnic nationalities, at least in the southern part of the country.
I really can’t tell if it was by coincidence but it happened that the choir was predominantly populated by a particular ethnic nationality, even though the presiding pastor is of another ethnic nationality.
Gradually but consistently, praise and worship sessions became so skewed to a particular native tongue that the rest of us who don’t speak the language were left to enjoy only the rhythm of the melodious music coming from the choir, even when we didn’t understand the message.
Given that music is a tonic to the soul, I did not realise how disconnected I was from the church until I had cause to attend a wedding in another church to see the conscious effort they made to balance their activities to give every native tongue a sense of belonging.
The decision to switch church was at no cost to me because I realised that a part of my spiritual requirement was yearning for fulfillment. That was the first time I realised the power of language in effective communication.
A typical African falls in love with his native tongue and would speak his language freely and with excitement whenever he enjoys the company of his kinsman or woman. It should be a thing of pride actually. I speak mine and I am indeed proud of it.
However, it is only ethical that when you find yourself in an environment where you have others who don’t speak your language, you should respect their feelings. You wouldn’t have done anything wrong speaking your language but you could lose them when you make them feel unwanted.
Language is not limited to spoken words. Your body language can speak more than a thousand words. A smile, for instance, is a powerful communication tool. What does a smile say? It is a form of acceptance. A smile says you are welcome.
People like to exercise control over their choices. They don’t only want to be heard, they want to hear all that matter to them. Understanding the content of the song they dance to is one example. In my case, it was not the intention of the church to lose my membership but I simply felt rejected and took a walk.
My story may be an extreme example but look around you and be sure you are not losing your friends because of language barrier.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
05 December 2022
